Hello. My name is Beverly. My husband is FTM. We will be 5 years into his transition this October 2019. It is so crazy to say that. We live in Hawai'i and do not have many resources available. I am hoping to make connections with people, share stories, and become friends. As of right now he has only had HRT and no surgeries yet. We are trying to get top surgery done sooner than later. We have 2 boys and a few animals. He will be 32 this year and I will be 31. We are celebrating our 13th anniversary in September.

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Welcome! And congratulations on 13 years. It's always great to see relationships flourish through a transition!!

I know what it's like to live somewhere without access and resources. I live in a small rural community.

Do you plan to seek out a surgeon in Hawaii?

If it is possible we would like to find a surgeon here. More so because he would rather not take off extra time from work. The other goal would be to find a surgeon that will take his insurance. We are having a hiccup getting a referral to a clinic that specializes in Trans medical on Oahu. We have been working with them. I have to call his insurance about his PCP, or changing his PCP so that the referral can be done. If we have to go to the mainland then we will make it happen. It just adds a lot of extra planning, someone to watch our house, pets, and help with the kids. A lot of added stressors. Plus, he has a hard time taking time to take care of himself. So time off of work, traveling, and everything will be tough for him. Any advice on how to reassure him that it is totally fine to take care of his needs for once is very much appreciated.

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Hmm, I don't think either of the Hawaii surgeons I'm thinking of (Ching in Honolulu and Crabtree in Kailua) take insurance.

Dr. Scott Mosser in San Francisco takes all kinds of insurance. But I understand how that travel is unappealing. I had to travel about 7 hours each way for Top Surgery and I found it pretty tough physically. Add to that the logistics... it's not easy!

Keep the eyes on the prize!! Taking time off is required for surgery; doing too much after surgery can worsen results. This is a great time for him to be thinking of his needs, what he wants out of surgery, how he can support himself in getting there. I'm sure that having kids makes it hard for him to put himself first. Maybe he could think about how much MORE he'll be able to be there for you all when he has the weight of surgery off his shoulders.

Yes. Those are a few here. We are trying to get him into the Lavendar Clinic here. Hopefully soon to see what resources they have. How did you add a profile photo. I have tried multiple times it will not let me upload. I thought a picture of him and I would be nice. I think his main concern is that he is the one that works. I currently stay at home with the kids and am still chipping away at my degree. Well, he has actually started back at school as well. He does so much, it is really impressive and I don't know how he does it.

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Plus, having the top surgery I know will boost his confidence so much. He wants to be able to just swim like all of the other guys do here when we take the kids swimming. I know we would go so much more often if he felt more comfortable doing so.

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